


Joey's Mixtapes

by narcolepticSeamstress



Category: Original Work
Genre: Airborne Toxic Event, Cider Sky, David Michael Bennett - Freeform, Ed Sheeran - Freeform, F/F, F/M, Inspired by Music, M/M, Matt Nathanson, Mayday Parade, Minor Soul, Multi, Original Character(s), Original work - Freeform, Panic! at the Disco - Freeform, Taylor Swift - Freeform, We The Kings, lyrics, sleeping at last
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-04
Updated: 2016-05-04
Packaged: 2018-05-24 15:57:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 3,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6158848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/narcolepticSeamstress/pseuds/narcolepticSeamstress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The last 4 years of Joey's life have been a whirlwind of love, fuck ups, and heartbreak, and he's learning slowly how to deal with it. The easiest way, is with music and poetry, so why not combine the two and tell his and Eve's story in a special way?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tape 1: 500 Days of Sideways Affection - Track 1: Northern Lights - Cider Sky

**Author's Note:**

> This project is 95% fact.  
> It's no where near done, and a lot of things will shift around, and it gets a little repetitive at times, but that's just the way things went down. I can't lie, there will be times when I'll move things around to make room for new pieces that tell new parts or clarify things, but I still hope you enjoy it c:  
> Each chapter will have the title and artist of the corresponding song, and I recommend listening to the song before or while reading the piece. Kind of emphasizes things.
> 
> -This is for the lovely Eve

Tape: 500 Days of Sideways Affection

Track 1: Northern Lights - Cider Sky

 

 

 

_I wanna fly into this beautiful life,_

_I think it’d be nice with you._

 

December,

the nights are cold,

the days are cold,

time is invisible;

people walk by,

staring at my melancholy,

the small desk in the corner,

it’s an oasis,

and none of the things

happening around me matter.

 

I sit and wait,

nothing happens,

as always,

but then you happen,

and you’re at the empty desk next to me;

I watch you draw out of the corner of my eye,

you’re consuming my world in color and warmth;

the lights are brighter,

my senses feel heightened,

and you seem to shine brightly.

_suddenly,_

_everything I thought was impossible is here._

You smile at me,

catching me staring,

your voice dinging out a nervous

“Hello.”

“Hi.”

“….”

“….I like your art.”

You smiled,

that shy and slightly intimidating smile.

 

Eve.

Your name is Eve.

 

I watch for you to come in

every day,

again and again,

until I find myself waiting around after class,

so I can ask you to eat lunch with me.

 

You smile and laugh

at how nervous I am;

but you agree to sit with me anyway.

 

The sun comes out,

you’ve returned my affections;

_I never felt as blissful as I do here,_

_and everything_

_shines much brighter._

 

If you could,

if you would,

would you maybe stay awhile?

_I think it’d be nice with you._


	2. Tape: 500 Days of Sideways Affection - Track 2: Turning Page - Sleeping At Last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joey begins his tentative love with the quiet and gentle Eve.

Track 2: Turning Page - Sleeping At Last

 

_Nothing prepared me for_

_what the privilege of being yours would do._

I never guessed that the girl of my dreams,

would be so close so soon.

_If I had only felt the warmth within your touch,_

_If I had only seen how you smile when you blush._

There’s something in the way you act,

I’m anxiously happy when you’re near.

For the first time in awhile,

I feel that I can be myself.

Quiet and nervous and anxious to please,

contrasted against your enticing beauty and exuberant personality.

_If I had only known how it feels to be yours,_

_then I would have known_

_what I was living for._

 

 


	3. Tape: 500 Days of Sideways Affection - Track 3: Treacherous - Taylor Swift

Track 3: Treacherous - Taylor Swift

 

_I can’t decide if it’s a choice,_

_getting swept away._

 

I know more about you,

the little things mostly.

 

The way your hair sticks up in the mornings,

and the “sleepy drunk” look in your eyes.

 

How you put your hands on your hips when you want to make a point,

and get an Irish accent when you’re nervous.

 

There’s something in the way you walk over to me,

that forces me to know how much I like you.

 

_And I’d be smart to walk away,_

_but you’re quicksand._

 

I don’t want to tell you how I feel,

for fear of tipping things too far.

 

You’re my greatest friend,

and I don’t want to drive you away.

 

_This love is treacherous,_

_this daydream is reckless._

 

I don’t want to feel this way for you,

but it’s quickly proving to be useless.

 

_This slope is treacherous,_

_and I like it._


	4. Tape: 500 Days of Sideways Affection - Hurricane: Panic! At The Disco

Track 4: Hurricane - Panic! At The Disco

 

_I led the revolution in my bedroom,_

_and I set all the zippers free._

In my living room,

neither of us were paying attention to the movie,

and you stole my first kiss with a shy

but determined smile.

 

I couldn’t forget it,

you were sitting so close,

I needed to get away,

but you already had me in the palm of your hand.

 

Neither of us intended for things to go this far,

It started with just a kiss,

but then doesn’t it always?

 

I know we’re just friends,

but that was before you said,

“ _No more war,_

_no more clothes!”_

 

And the strangest thing happened,

limbs entwined under thin sheets,

uncertain hands traveling over virgin skin,

you’re softer than I ever could have imagined.

 

_Oh I’d confess in a room where I’m blessed,_

that you’re the last thing I thought I would be doing that night,

the constant ramblings between kisses,

you chuckle at my shy nature,

confidently teasing me,

breaking the uncomfortable silence

_“Oh kiss me!”_

 

There was a quiet moment,

filled only with breathing,

when you kissed my forehead and smiled,

and I knew that you were only thinking of me as only as a friend with benefits,

and in the morning

I would talk about the guy I had a crush on,

and you would briefly mention that red head.

 

Even though I would kiss you goodbye,

an unspoken promise to spend the night again,

knowing full well that there would be the reddest of colors on my cheeks

as I shamefully contemplated the way you sparkled

in the dark.

 

_Hey stranger,_

_I want you to catch me like a cold._


	5. Tape: B-Movie Breakup Montage - Track 1: Raining Somewhere Else - On The Dashboard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On The Dashboard is Joey's band c:

Track 1: Raining Somewhere Else - On The Dashboard

 

_The quiet tapping on the roof comes with deliberation,_

_But I still wish it was raining somewhere else._

What?

What do you mean?

 

I know you thought he was cute,

but is he really the one?

 

“I started dating the red head today,”

was the off-hand way you phrased it.

 

I can’t breathe

I can’t think

my heart feels tight like squeezing

and the lights in my eyes go out

and the color you brought into my world

fades.

 

_The time came soon enough,_

_but Darling I’ll miss you._


	6. Tape: B-Movie Breakup Montage - Track 2: Don't - Ed Sheeran

Track 2: Don't - Ed Sheeran

 

_I wasn’t looking for a promise_

_or commitment._

 

It’s been 5 days since I kissed you,

and you’re texting me

about your new boyfriend.

And he’s basically a model,

you’re in love;

I’m just wondering where I went wrong.

 

I know we weren’t 100% together,

the difference between the sex at night

and the way you pushed me away in the day

told me enough.

I had seen the signs,

the two of you talk day in day out.

_And I never saw him as a threat,_

_til you disappeared with him_

so I’m standing here wondering how I missed it.

 

It hurt like hell,

I don’t mean to accuse,

_wish I’d written it down,_

_the way that things played out,_

It was just like what happened before,

so of course I blocked it out.

 

_But it was never just fun,_

_and I thought you were different._


	7. Tape: B-Movie Breakup Montage : Track 3: Sometime Around Midnight - Airborne Toxic Event

Track 3: Sometime Around Midnight - Airborne Toxic Event

 

_You just have to see her,_

_You know that she’ll break you in two._

 

The pictures are

moments of affection

that have been shifted,

she...

you don’t want to think of it,

but the smiles that were once yours,

now belong to him.

He’s her ideal –

tall and muscular and charming –

he’s everything she wants.

 

He’s the biggest asshole you’ve ever met,

you could not hate anyone more,

the red-head that’s been kissing your love.

You’ve only spoken with him once,

at a Halloween party where he took off his shirt,

just to get a reaction from the girls;

you know you stared,

and Eve did too;

you immediately felt threatened.

You knew who would win this competition,

because she clearly favored him,

and you couldn’t help but treat him like an outsider.

 

She’s shown you the pictures,

of kisses stolen between classes,

and you smile,

because she probably doesn’t realize

that the pictures are just proof

that you’re not needed anymore,

and how she pretends to not know is the sweetest poison.

Your smile is there,

the constant reminder

that she was never yours to begin with.

 

In that single moment,

the anger you feel towards her,

is unexpected,

and somehow she seems to know how you feel.

she puts the pictures away,

saying,

_“What is it,_

_you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”_

 

_And you feel hopeless and homeless,_

_and lost in the haze of her eyes._


	8. Tape: The 2am Turnabout - Track 1: Come On Get Higher - Matt Nathanson

Track 1: Come On Get Higher - Matt Nathanson

 

_I ache to remember_

_all the violent, sweet, perfect words that you said._

 

After you left,

this song unearthed itself

from the depths of my mind

to make me miss you more.

 

I can’t lie,

I have the tendency to forget,

actually to make myself forget,

I don’t want to remember the pain.

 

_I miss the sound of your voice,_

the words put under lock and key.

I miss the smiles you would flash,

even though they appear blurry in my head.

 

You’re giving those smiles to someone else,

even though he’s the last one to deserve them,

the last one to deserve anything kind from you,

with the way that he flirts with women.

 

_I miss the pull of your heart,_

I want to remember you,

remember what I did wrong.

 

_Just pull me down hard,_

_and drown me in love._


	9. Tape: The 2am Turnabout - Track 2: One - Ed Sheeran

Track 2: One - Ed Sheeran

 

_Just promise me,_

_you’ll never leave again._

 

“Things are getting worse,

he’s making fun of my feelings,

and treating me like trash.”

 

“Why are you waiting so long?

He’s just a jerk that’s messing with you.”

 

You were going to wait,

leave him when he came back,

from that summer at his dad’s house,

when he went from sweet to sour.

That was the worst part

of your time together

 

He was rude and cruel,

using your feelings against you,

contemplating his dad’s advice

to hook up with some girl.

I never understood why

that man hated you so much.

 

I feel bad for it now,

but I convinced you to end it with him early,

“But I want to do it face to face.”

“He doesn’t deserve that much kindness.”

 

It took you a few times,

but finally you called it quits,

and the day after leaving his sorry ass,

you spent the night,

sparkling in the dark.

 

I’ll shamefully admit,

that it was the best kind of revenge.

 

I’ll never leave you again,

_cause you are the only one_

who stays by my side

when _I listen to sad songs_

_singing about love,_

and where ours goes wrong.

 

_Just promise me,_

_you’ll always be a friend,_

_cause you are the only one._


	10. Tape: 500 Days of Sideways Affection - Track 5: Collar Full - Panic! At The Disco

Track 5: Collar Full - Panic! At The Disco

 

_Show me your love, your love,_

_before the world catches up._

You take my hand,

and you smile softly.

And the world is in color again,

the rich warmth of your eyes returning first.

 

I smile back,

and I know you can see the heat on my cheeks,

because you’re making me do it on purpose.

You like to see me shy,

and you grin in that satisfied way;

everything is back to the way it was

before the red head.

 

You’re in my arms again,

and I don’t have to share you,

which is good,

even if it means that

you’re still not 100% mine.

 

I can deal with that this time.

_I won’t leave any doubt_

_or stone unturned,_

because I want things to work

this time

and for you to not run away

to someone else.

 

And even though I know it’s inevitable,

because I’m not what you want,

I hope that the next time won’t be so soon

and so difficult.

 

_If you’re gonna be the death of me,_

_that’s how I wanna go._


	11. Tape: 500 Days of Sideways Affection - Track 6: Tenerife Sea - Ed Sheeran

Track 6: Tenerife Sea - Ed Sheeran

 

_You got the kind of look in your eye,_

_as if no one knows anything but us._

I’m dreaming

and your face is haunting me even in my sleep,

and I’m sorry to say this,

but I think that I’m in love with you.

 

I know it’s not what you planned,

nowhere close;

but I’m hoping we can make it work.

Just hear me out,

just listen to me for a moment.

 

_All of the voices surrounding us here,_

_they just fade out when you take a breath,_

and there’s something that I need you to understand;

I didn’t think I wanted this either,

but when I look at you,

and you look back at me,

things just feel right

in the most cliché way.

 

Your smile is my sunshine,

and your heartbeat is my breath,

_you look so beautiful in this light,_

and when you’re near my world is in color,

everything looks clearer,

and you’re smiling,

and I can’t help but fall deeper for you

even if I’m so scared to surrender

myself to you.

 

I know that there’s

a little chance of you sharing my sentiment

but hope is the poison that

invaded my soul

and the love that I’ve suppressed for you

is real and there and I

want to share it with you,

even if you say no.

 

_Should this be the last thing I see,_

_I want you to know it’s enough for me,_

_cause all that you are is all that I’ll ever need._


	12. Tape: B-Movie Breakup Montage - Track 4: Miserable At Best - Mayday Parade

Track 4: Miserable At Best - Mayday Parade

 

_Everything I could give,_

_Is everything you couldn’t take._

I confessed my feelings to you a month later,

and you smiled softly,

sadly,

and took my hand.

 

You don’t love me

the way I love you.

“It’s because I’m straight,

and you’re…

you know?

Maybe if things were different,

it would work out.

You know that

they would never accept it.”

I can’t help it,

that I was born this way,

and that my genetic appearance

is the way that I don’t want it to be.

 

Your religious family,

they would kill me if they knew,

that I’m not who I say I am,

and the worst thing is

that you aren’t willing to fight for it either.

 

_So let’s not pretend like you’re alone tonight,_

_I know he’s there,_

and this new brunette is the better option for you.

He’s big,

and strong,

and born a male,

the only type your family will approve of.

 

Even though we’re doing our thing again,

you’re talking about how sweet he is,

how funny he is all the time;

I smile because I know you’re just trying

to get me to stop loving you

for my own good because

_It’s been three whole days since I’ve had sleep,_

_Cause I dream of his lips on your cheek._

 

I cried,

for days

and nights,

the agony you caused me

is hidden behind what you know are

thin lies of “I’m Okay, Eve.”

and a protective cocoon of fabric and toys

to distract me from the things you tell me,

each stitch accepting the lies you feed me,

helping me spin my own,

as I start to emotionally distance myself from you.

 

You’re doing exactly

what he did to me;

what you promised not to do,

and I should have seen it coming.

 

_I got the point that I should leave you alone,_

_but we both know I’m not that strong._


	13. Tape: The 2am Turnabout - Track 3: Check Yes, Juliet - We the Kings

Track 3: Check Yes, Juliet - We the Kings

 

_Run baby, run,_

_don’t ever look back._

I know this isn’t what you planned.

But darling,

I have to say,

I’ve tried to stop loving you,

I really have.

 

For the sake of your dignity,

and the sake of your virtue,

and, god forbid,

the anger of your family,

I’ve tried to let you go.

 

_Rain is falling down on the sidewalk,_

_I won’t go until you come outside,_

because I know my efforts are useless,

and not even the hatred of your family

could keep me from being devoted to you,

and I want you to know that.

 

_They’ll tear us apart_

_if you give them the chance,_

I know it’ll be rough,

I know it’ll be difficult,

and no one can know,

that you’re mine.

You smile,

a little sadly,

but you nod,

and take my hand,

 agreeing that this can’t end this way.

_There’s no turning back for us tonight._

_Don’t sell your heart,_

_don’t say we’re not meant to be._


	14. Tape: 500 Days of Sideways Affection - Track 7: Livin' Life - Minor Soul

Track 7: Livin' Life - Minor Soul

 

_And it’s been awhile that I’ve felt alone,_

_but something’s changing._

 

She’s sitting with me,

at a party,

watching quietly

as I continue to fend off

one of our friends

who keeps trying to ask her out,

even though she’s told him no

like 7 times now.

 

She sighs quietly

when he leaves to get a drink;

we finally get a moment alone.

 

She rests her head on my shoulder,

and I rub her back softly.

This is the first time I’ve seen her in a few weeks,

between school,

and work,

and family.

 

Her hand finds mine

in that dim backyard,

and we just sit quietly,

saying nothing,

enjoying the other’s company,

like we always do.

 

I can feel that familiar electricity

that comes off her skin

when it brushes against mine;

I want to kiss Eve,

but at the same time,

I’m content with just holding her close,

and even so,

it’s too dangerous

to kiss her here

where someone could see.

 

She’s smiling softly,

eyes closed,

relaxed

and she’s happy,

to just sit here

and be with me.

 

_Feeling sad has never felt so distant,_

_Nothing in my life has ever felt so nice._


	15. Tape: We're Going To Be Okay, I Think - Track 1: Rolling Hills - David Michael Bennett

Track 1: Rolling Hills - David Michael Bennett

 

_We’ll have ourselves a lovely time,_

_soaking in the good vibes._

I like hanging out with you,

the days when we just sit together on the couch,

and say nothing.

 

We don’t even pay attention to each other really,

but it’s nice to know

that we can just sit together

and do nothing sometimes.

 

Life gets so crazy for the both of us,

that it’s nice

to just sit side to side,

leaning on each other for support.

 

You hum softly as you draw,

and I like to listen

while I create my toys and projects,

and sometimes we like to listen to music online.

 

It’s just quiet,

you and me together,

no one else around;

these are the best days.

 

_We’re going to have a better life,_

_while singing._


	16. Tape: We're Going To Be Okay, I Think - Track 2: Nine Point Eight - Mili

Track 2: Nine Point Eight - Mili

 

_Please don’t leave me behind,_

_so you held me tight and said I will be just fine._

I have night terrors,

and you hallucinate;

it’s a bad time

for everyone involved.

 

Even when not together,

you can somehow sense

when I’m having an attack,

and you call me and ask

“Who was it this time?”

because it’s always someone dying

who I couldn’t save.

Your voice alone tends to calm me.

There are nights when your messages

get messy

and wobbly,

and I know that there’s someone in your room

and I Skype with you

so I can make sure you’re okay.

We look around the room together

so I can tell you that there’s really

no one in there

and that the creature

in your doorway

is in fact in your head.

 

You often buy scented candles,

and you like to light them whenever I stay the night.

I like it when we stay together,

both for obvious dirty connotation

and because i like to take care of you,

_Chrysanthemum kalanchoe,_

_become your shield whenever you fall asleep._

_Swirling wind sings for our reunion_

_and nine point eight is my acceleration._


End file.
